Go away.

Fuck if I know.

2008-11-27T02:34:00.000-08:00

SO, I had a very interesting one-sided conversation with the father just a while ago. He came into the room, commented about me being on the computer, then asked, all serious-like, "So what are your percentage chances on making it into a university?" Well, fucked if I know. If I faced up to it and searched for the answer, I would realize that I won't make it anywhere, be fantastic in anything. I'm the sort to be able to learn a lot of stuff, but to exel in not a single one of them. A jack of all trades and a master of none. Perfect for me.
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Self-pity; i'm wallowing in it right now, it would seem. BUT. I don't think so. I'm being realistic. Better that I face up to it now than to go bumbling around in life, trying hard to exel just to please people. Or maybe that's wrong. I've given up doing things just to make people happy a long time ago. Everything i do, there has to be something in it for me. Sometimes, the feeling I get when I give people a nice surprise would motivate me to do so. Most of the time though... I don't care. That way, they don't expect it. When it does happen, they go all "=O?!" and get a shock. or something. i don't care. And sometimes i do it just for fun.
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Ugh. Sometimes I just feel like helping him fall down a long flight of stairs. It gets so infuriating. Now that I'm back, what happens? Mmm, I get called to do his tiniest bidding. Even if he was the one who was nearer say, his phone, he'd summon me to go take it to him. What the hell does he think I am? a slave to go run around at his beck and call? Fuck no!
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But I've managed to keep out of his way so far. We haven't had a long talk yet. I keep it short. Maybe once i crave a little excitement I'll respond when he gets angry. Or maybe not. I'm leaving in 2 months. Keep my eyes on that and I'll be able to get through the summer break without much happening.

Mmm mucho loves.

2008-10-31T17:11:00.001-07:00

To Vivienne!
Got your letter yesterday Viv, and thank you so much. When I opened it up and read what you had written, you had me nearly crying. Miss ya that much, yanno? The time and effort you must've put in for that mail to me.. It just touches me deeply. In a non-pervy way. Haha. In all seriousness, I loved it. Thank you. When I get back 15 days- HUAH!-, we're going to have to meet. HAVE TO HAVE TO. Before you head to Melbourne. Yeap yeap. Okay.
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Another question I was musing upon-
Would you rather live forever, or die tomorrow?
I think I'd prefer to die tomorrow. The prospects of living longer than all the people I love, and the utter boredom I'd go through for all eternity.. No please.

Over the past couple of days..

2008-10-30T13:56:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking. Yes, I do think. Haha. But anyway.. What started it? Well... Lex said something.. And I started pondering. Musing upon stuff like..
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If I ever had a major falling out with each of my friends [yes, I took different people and put them into the same situation each time around], I wonder what would happen? Yes, we'd just go on and live life. That's what everyone does, anyway. Nothing much we can do. But that's in black and white. The basic of everything. But what about the grey areas, the in-betweens? The personalization of the situation? Everyone reacts to the same situations differently.
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Something else I was musing upon... Would I [or you] prefer being screwed over, or screwing someone over? Say it has to do with friendships and all. Relationships. Not actual sex, you pervs. Haha. I would.. Hmm. I could say how I think I would react, but push come to shove and I'm in the actual situation... I don't think I'd do as I thought I would. Ever happened to you? Happens to me a lot. But anyway, I think I would personally prefer screwing someone over. Because I could always apologize and attempt to make the situation better. I don't trust easily, so if I were screwed over by a friend whom I had opened my heart up to and thought I could count on.. Meh. The personal, emotional pain is just.. I can't cope. Oh lulz. I don't deal with emotional stress very well. It's selfish, but yes. Another thing that would add in to this is... Which one of my friends it is. There are some people whom I wouldn't mess up for the world- They mean that much to me.
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Also. Do you read meanings into something that isn't there? I do it a lot. A whole lot, in fact. Especially when it comes to people. Which.. Isn't good, but I don't know. I'm suspicious.. And wary. I used to be gullible and naive! What happened? D8 But I digress.. I used to trust everyone and anyone. But now... It takes me longer to trust people. Like Lex said, I have commitment problems. I've been taken advantage of too many times. Best thing is.. I never know until someone else tells me... Or something blatantly obvious happens. XD Oops. Even now though. When I trust someone, I really place my faith in them. So.. It's still easy to take advantage of that. Haha meh. When I grow older I'd probably call myself ten kinds of idiot, but... I haven't been hurt enough to bother changing myself now. P8 I'm a moron. yes. OH WELL.
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Last question for today.. If you had the chance.. Would you choose to live forever? ... I don't think I would. x_o
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That is all. 8D

If you wanna lie, at least make up something believable.

2008-10-09T05:58:00.000-07:00

Hell yeah. Y'know, if someone want to stop talking to me over IM, they could always tell me to my face. I don't mind if people want to end the conversation because we've run out of things to say- Hell, i can even tolerate you telling a lie once in a while. But if you choose to keep lying, at least, PLEASE FUCKING LIE PROPERLY. No, seriously! Don't tell such an obvious lie, especially not to me. Because i do not hesitate to point it out. Thought i was nice? Time to re-think that because seriously, i do have the guts to say something which would sever friendships. Especially if we were never close in the first place.
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Also... I don't like the feeling i get when i think i'm being used. Mmkay? I'm always there for my friends. I listen, i symphatize [if i feel that i should be condoling rather than giving them a swift kick of reality], and edge in my opinions somewhere. Sometimes i'll tell them flatly that they should get over it because it's a small matter, sometimes i let them go on and on and on. Because that's why i'm their friend. I'm here to listen. To anything. I'm the sort of person who would attempt to beat up the source of my closer friends' problems if i'm on their side of the matter. Think of it like the knight in shining [... k maybe tin-can] armour who slays the princess' dragons. It's amazing, that i can let myself be so worked up over problems that are not mine. Like a week ago. It fair kills me that i can't be home right now, so that i can help shield my friend from her problems. I'm super worried right now, and it's pissing me off that i can't do more than to just call her. Just... Ugh. By the time our conversation was over, i was so full of rage and badly wanted to punch something. I still wish i was there, yanno.
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But i sidetracked. Being used... I don't like the fact that i'm always there for people, and they take advantage of that fact. I get freakin' ignored unless they have a problem. Sure, i'm happy to listen and help them out as best as i can, but it does NOT mean they only talk to me when thye're in trouble! Who the hell do they think they are? If we don't even have a normal friendship, how can they just expect me to be there for them? No seriously, think about it. Sometimes, i wonder if i have this huge flashing signboard above my head which says TELL ME YOUR SECRETS EVEN IF I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL YOU ARE. Seriously!
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Blah. Just, just, BLAH.

Omigoshhhh!

2008-09-25T03:58:00.000-07:00

Warning: Rantish post ahead. Language included.
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I don't get it anymore. Just. Gosh, i'm so fucking pissed off you have no idea. I can't win, can i? I can never win. No, adults always have the upper hand. Because they're wise and full of wisdom and if we were smart, we'd follow in their footsteps nyeh?
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Bull shit. Fucktards are full of BS, always. "Listen to us lawl we know everything and want to know everything you get up to send us your homework and marks and holiday assignments". Right. As though i'm going to send it so you can laugh at my lameshit work. Don't dare say you won't. You always have, always will. Never going to change. I'm so glad i don't type out my homework, and hand write everything. The mere idea of sending my work to you is appalling. Just... Gosh.
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Grrr, just GRRRRR.
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Okay. Moving on...
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Just started my 2 week break, and half of the first week is officially over. Did quite a bit of work, but i have a TON more to do. I need to go purchase mountain climbing equipment and THEN figure out how to scale this wall of homework. Right now, my mind is just boggled. Too much homework. Blah. Let me rephrase that... Too much fecking homework that makes no sense. Blah. BLAH. English is just.... USELESS. Econs... Ehhhhh.
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To top that mess off, i lost ALL my bio notes a couple weeks before the holidays. How stupid can stupid get? So now i have to re-do everything. Yes, Rie iz smrtz. Vry smrt. Have to do everything again. 8D
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Not having a very good time, 'vryone. My apologies if i snap at you, or if my mood just fluctuates wildly.
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And woah. This isn't very coherent, is it?

Australia

2008-08-09T06:59:00.000-07:00

Well, people have been wanting to know what's been going on for me. Here's a little update.
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First off, i would like to emphasize on something. No matter how many times i repeat it, people keep buggering me about it! ... NO, I do NOT have, and am NOT getting a boyfriend. No way. Not yet. Distracting, much? Between studying and cleaning up the remains of my exploded brains from the ground, i hardly even have time to sleep. Getting one of those boy creatures would just make it worse for me. I do not have enough of that precious resource called time to even get 8 hours of sleep at night- I'm averaging 5-6 hours at best. Not good.
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I realized something. Something i never knew. Whenever i'm tired or overworked or stressed, i tend to go emo. Wayyyy emo. I get all depressed and lose hope and things like that. [Kudos to Lex, Jen, Lew and Viv for pulling me through. <3 style="font-style: italic;">Dejavu. How utterly appalling. I'm supposed to keep my speech interesting to get high marks, but simple enough so that the rest of the class understand. This is going to be one heck of a challenge. Guess my subject? ..... Global warming. How absolutely boring. How am i supposed to liven it up?
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Now i'm going to describe a couple of my friends here. Dorcia and Vivian. Dorcia is a couple years older than Vivian and i- She's 19. Geeze, old hag. Heh heh heh. Vivian is... 3 days older than i am. Spankin', innit? I'm still the tallest. ... Okay enough gloating. Hahaha. They're just.. Weird. We're very weird. Dorcy's from Singapore too, Vivvy is from Malaysia. Not expanding very far am i?
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HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY LEXLEX. <3 style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">'The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.' -
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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VIVIENNE. You.... Cheer up, srsly! Maybe when you get my letter you'd be happier. Here's something for you too: 'We all have ability. The difference is how we use it.' -Stevie Wonder
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To all those taking your Os... You can do it. I'll be there for you when you collect your stuff, for now, just study hard, but don't forget to take breaks. 'Time is the scarcest resource; Unless time is managed, nothing else can be managed.' - Peter Drucker
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To the rest who didn't get a personal shoutout.. Don't be sad. I GIVE YOU QUOTE TOO K.
'The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that our aim is too low and we reach it.' - Michelangelo
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I can hear you all saying... "WOW CHERIE SO DEEP." Well, what can i say? I'm maturing. Sad. LIVE WITH IT MAI BEETCHES.
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<3,
Cherie.

D8

2008-07-02T06:45:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, the world just turns too fast for me. It spins along on it's merry way, whisking me along as my mind is stuck in the sewers of two months before. Ever felt that way? It's really weird. Take now, for example. I cannot comprehend that the 8th of July is fast approaching- No, i refuse to believe that it's a scant six days away. Hardly a week!

Been running around frantically on the rat wheel of life, trying so hard to keep up. Packing, spending almost all my time with friends. Everyone shows me this face; 'D=', but sometimes i wonder if they actually feel the opposite of what theyre showing me. But you know, that's being pessimistic, so i'm going to change tact.

OMG, LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW EVERYONE IS GOING TO MISS ME.

Okay, so i can't pull that happiness off. Seriously, though, now i'm going to have to send rgular emails to... Let's see.. One, two, three.. Four and five people? Oh, mannn! Hahaha it'd be so hard, yet so fun. I think sending emails are pretty exciting, but i love getting mail the old way- Through posting and all. I just don't like having to remember how many stamps i should stick on and stuff. So i'm going to stick to the fast and easier and FREE-ER way.

My skin is pink. Sleeping in the sun is a bad idea.

I got bloated twice today, i think i ate too much. My stomach felt very uncomfortably full, and best part? I had four people using me as a cushion. Cheryl's head was on my stomach, and i felt so queasy that i wanted to throw up. I don't think they'd have been very happy if i up-chucked over the KC Sailing banner AND their clothes and bodies.

I FELL TWICE IN TWO DAYS. I can't walk properly, i swear. Yesterday, i started jogging towards a friend, then my ankle twisted and i sprawled on the path. How humiliating. Today, i took and running jump and landed. Then i fell to my knees and nearly ended up having a mouthful of sand. Ew. My friend Rachel from RGS started teasing me, so i ran after her and whacked her. Felt very good after that!

I'm very tired, my brain is not working. I'm going to sleep.

The English language = 8D!!

2008-05-21T05:52:00.000-07:00

Let's face it. English is a crazy language. There is no eggplant in egg, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French Fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese? One index, two indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes i think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the berbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Park in a driveway, drive in a parkway? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which and alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is ot a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. Incidentally, why doesn't "buick" rhyme with "quick"?

2008-04-04T06:59:00.000-07:00

I am.. So peeved. Go on. Ask me why. I may calm down enough to give you a rational answer, or i may just chomp off your head and give your body to polar bears to munch on as a snack. I'm too angry to bother writing out a nice blog post, so this is all you get, people who keep asking me to update my blog. You all are my friends, so i'm giving you a measly four lines. Apperantly it's 7 lines on the actual blog.

2008-03-19T05:18:00.001-07:00

I'm trying to decide if I should start this blog anew, the sole reason being while reading back, I decided that I didn't like the way I wrote. Weird? Well, that's just how I am. I've written and re-written school essays plenty of times before. In fact, during exams, I usually choose and write out about 3 paragraphs for two topics before discarding one and turning my full attention onto the one which I feel has better potential to get that A. Don't say I’m mad, insane or downright crazy. I just like the English Language. Immensely.
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That reminds me. I saw one of my 'best friends' yesterday when I went down to KC to meet a friend before going for lunch with her. I had thought that after my graduating, she and her little clique of 'Bimbotic Ah-Lians' would forget me. Apparently not. When I was still a student at KC, it was people like her I avoided. Almost every sentence of theirs is punctuated with a vulgarity of some sort, and the full extent of their conversational skills is to talk about having intercourse with some person [or dog] or the other. 'Fuck that Bitch!' is one of the four phrases she knows. She's certainly very confident when she utters it. For me, I see no point in doing it with a dog. And a female one, at that.
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A small piece of advice; Do not try informing them that their vocabulary needs improving upon. After boring me silly about them desiring intercourse with me [Egads!! Ewwww.], I very eloquently expressed the urge to give them either a Dictionary or a Thesaurus, only to belatedly remember that they wouldn't know what either things were. Silly me.
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Anyway, as any random outsider could plainly see, we aren't exactly 'bosom buddies' or 'best friends'. If you're trying to find a phrase to describe our relationship [our being her, another friend of hers, and myself], try 'Moral Enemies'. Yes, moral. Our morals and values clash rather horribly. I do not spew vulgarities whenever I am angry. I use them occasionally when I am happy. When upset or angry, apparently [according to a friend], I become frigid and cold and tend to dig around in my vocabulary and use words that confuse others. Or, as she said, "You like, become damn scary and use all those chim chim words that I don't understand."
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I didn’t confront her after she threw a sentence at my back as I walked away. It sounded like ‘Little piece of fucking shit’, or something of the like. I was galled about two things in particular. First being the fact that she didn’t have the guts to tell me so to my face. As I walked past her, she inclined her head and tried to glare at me balefully down her nose. Needless to say, she failed. I’m taller by perhaps a head. Fool. I was tempted to warn her about one of the seven vices; Pride. That and about the perils of crashing into a lamp post. The second thing that annoyed me was the structuring of that sentence. It was totally wrong.
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Another thing that has me really peeved, and thus accounts for my current personal title on MSN is this. I am sick of people asking me for my decision when they’ve clearly already decided for me. Most of it stemmed form going to Australia to study. “You should consider going overseas as an alternative!” Right. Like I had a choice. They dragged me to OAL [Overseas Academic Link] to consult one of the people, and THEY were the ones so engrossed in the talk which concerned MY future. An interview that I did not want to attend. Next, they gave me three choices to choose from: Sydney, Melbourne or Perth/ And while I was still reeling over from the joy that I was being allowed to go, after clearly expressing my wish to remain in Singapore and attend Poly, they announced that they preferred Melbourne and “You should go fill up the paperwork for Trinity College in Melbourne soon, dear! =D”
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WOW, people. Why bother asking me to decide / give an opinion when you have already decided for me? You obviously won’t take my input into consideration. It ticks me off. Like, immensely. It makes me feel like pulling my hair out and screaming. Wait. Did I say that I was ticked off? Scrap that. I’m furious. And sadly, whenever I’m this furious, I tend to commit an act which adults term as ‘rebellious’.
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Enough of that, though. If I keep going, this post is going to escalate into a full blown rant. And I do not approve of ranting. It expels one’s anger. I prefer putting that anger to better use, say, thinking up ways to ‘get my own back’.
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In case you didn’t know, I’m not a very nice person when I’m angry at you. ‘Forgive and forget’? Pfffft. Sure, I’ll forgive if the circumstances allow it. But I do not forget. I can harbor grudges for a long time. The worst I do is ignore. And I refuse to make snide remarks either. It’s either Open Combat, or… Nothing.

Philosophical, no? =D

2008-03-17T01:25:00.001-07:00

My fate has been sealed. Before 5 p.m. today, i was supposed to accept Temasek Poly's offer. Too late.

I should be kicking and screaming, shouldn't i? But i've resigned myself to going. There's nothing i can do to stop it, short of doing something highly, as we like to say, 'retarded'. Once we realize that there's nothing we can do, we usually give in. Some others do come out fighting, but they know they'll go down. But they prefer to be vanquished 'With a Bang'. What a waste of energy. Personally, i never did like fighting for something which i know is a 'gone case'. Oh, it is fun to try to pit yourself against it, i admit, but too much of a good thing destroys the pleasure you get.

Geez, when was i ever so philosophical? Someone should be really proud of me.

Get set for the statement of the century: I don't think blogging is any fun. So why am i still doing it? Hmm. I think it's because once i start a project, i prefer seeing it through to the bitter end.

But whatever, ya know? I can't stand seriousness, and i sure as hell am not going to put up with it in my own blog. I detest serious issues. I adore laughable matters. If you don't have a sense of humour, bugger off. Don't even come near me. I cannot take stuffed shirts. Pompous morons who don't laugh but expect people to think they're the best persons ever born.

To top this all off, i feel bored.

2008-03-13T06:22:00.000-07:00

Are the sailors every going to get to race? Third day of the competition, but still no races in the bag. The sailors are moaning and cursing, but i think i'm having a pretty good time laughing my head off. Come on, look at it my way! Wouldn't you laugh too, if you bore witness to many people skuttling about, hoisting their sails and lowering them several times a day? They're 'lazing' around, reading, sleeping, playing cards, studying, or plain ol' talking, but their ears are pricked and alert for the sound of a horn blasting, signalling the flag lowering, or listening to the people discussing about whether or not they're going to be able to launch as yet.

My part in all this? Well. I laugh. That's it, i guess. It's immensely funny. And they should look on the bright side! It's team bonding, after all.

Someone told me that i should make out a list of my likes and dislikes and post it here. One itsy bitsy little question.

WHY.

Okay, more like demand. But seriously. Why. If the people reading this know who i am, they'd pretty much know what i like and dislike, right? And if they don't... Well, all i can say is: Too bad, suckers. But here's a warning.

I dislike cameras. Immensely. Come after me with one and i'll smash it. No kidding.

Well.

2008-03-11T06:34:00.000-07:00

Due to intense pressure from numerous people, i have finally set up this blog-thinger. Problem is, i don't know how to work it very well. I'm currently staring at all the links and wondering what would happen if i clicked on something wrongly. If i did, i'd be very dead.

Kudos to CHERYL YEE GUI YING for helping me start this. Without her, i'd be talking to friends on MSN and reading a book instead of clicking on links that i don't know where they'd lead to. And would probably cause this blog to self destruct. If things on the net can explode, that is.

Someone tell me. What are blogs for? I mean, you can pen down your day's events in a diary. So why post it where everyone can see? And make comments on your day's activities. Isn't it all pointless? Unless you wished for everyone to know what you did, that is. 'A blog is an online diary.' Pfffft yeah. But aren't diaries supposed to be for your eyes, and your eyes only? But whatever. Because i happen to love CHERYL, i will force myself to blog once a month. Or once a year. It depends. If i'm really, really bored, i'll post. If not.. Well, there's this saying: 'Out of sight, Out of Mind'. Works pretty well for me.

I've run out of topics to type about. And i'm feeling lazy.

Random fact about myself: I DISLIKE CAMERAS. IMMENSELY. Take photos of me and i'll come after you.

Watch Anime Online
Lulz.